I’m a good girl. I really am.. I don’t make it my mission in life to be the bane of other’s existence’s. Shit. Happens. Maybe this is my bad girl streak. Maybe this is the time in my life I make boys/men weep. And curse my name. I don’t consider myself to be sought after, loved, adored, cherished by men in any sense. So, why should it matter if I stir a little nonsense up? It matters because I don’t do that. I promote healthy, positive, and love filled thoughts. Positivity.
Is it possible to be optimistically cynical? Everything good comes with a peppering of negativity. I’m so done giving people more than they deserve. I give others EVERYTHING I have to offer. Insight, love, compassion, a shoulder, my body.
Everyone who I start loving, leaves me. Sadly put, but this is one of those things that will pass as well. I’m allowed to feel, but this is like verbal diarrhea that isn’t getting better. I’m not some sad, fifteen year old who just broken up with by their first boyfriend. I’m a apathy-ridden woman.
I feel like an emotional prostitute. Who’s not getting paid.